January 2010
6 posts
1 tag
i like to record people when they talk. i like to...
3 tags
gird up your loins, fresh courage take!
my boss, gulavadee, wants me to ask out with every girl that i work with, whether or not i want to. so one time gulavadee tells me to ask out this girl who had only been working for a few days. but then the girl stopped showing up for work without calling or anything. obviously gulavadee was not happy with her and told me that i shouldn’t ask her out anymore. gulavadee told me that the girl...
1 tag
montezuma's genius
“revenge is a dish best served cold.” ~ dr. victor freeze in the 16th century, montezuma was known by all of his aztec subjects as their great ruler. historically, he is famous for his associations with the spanish conquistador cortes and the spaniard’s subsequent takeover of the aztec empire. but today he is relevant for one thing: diarrhea. montezuma’s revenge [not to be...
2 tags
don't ask, don't tell—unless you're talking to...
remember when in ‘an officer and a gentlemen’ louis gossett jr won an oscar because he told his recruits that ‘they’re only steers and queers in texas, and i don’t see any horns on you’? well, i would’ve said back that i don’t see any horns on you. burn!
but then maybe he would’ve responded with ‘i guess by saying that you’re conceding that you’re a queer.’ to which i would’ve said, ‘no, that’s...
2 tags
thai food makes me sick, i like girls who wear...
while i was at working at the restaurant today, a kid threw up into a curry bowl. so which of the following did it make me? a) gag b) mad c) laugh d) hungry and the correct answer is.. c) laugh. though i guess i was hungry, because i ate thirty minutes later. and for some reason i chose to eat curry. i have no idea why. it’s not like i wanted to pretend i was eating vomit or anything, because that...
1 tag
October 2009
1 post
1 tag
July 2009
4 posts
2 tags
a mcnugget! my kingdom for a mcnugget!
i am prone to bad decisions. sometimes i realize i am making a bad decision, and sometimes i don’t realize that i made a bad decision until well after the fact. last night, my quest for mcnuggets was of the former. yesterday around 2 am, my roommate, ben, and i were craving chicken mcnuggets from mcdonald’s. so we went to the mcdonald’s 3 minutes away from us and as we were...
3 tags
when things go bald
two years ago, i was balding. as any 25 year-old in that situation, i panicked. i do not want to lose my hair, and i certainly did not want to be bald as a 25 year-old. and the thing i’ve learned about balding is that it’s a curse that keeps on cursing [much like jonah hill]. stress is a big factor in balding, and the more you worry about balding, the balder you get. it’s...
2 tags
thai spirit thai love
i work in a thai restaurant called the thai kitchen. [although it is called the thai kitchen, it is somewhat of a misnomer. there are tables and a dining area and sich. um, such.] and i have a boss named gulavadee. she is the nicest boss ever and she is the one pictured. say hi gulavadee! oops, looks like she was busy watering plants. my badness. anyway, i find working with gulavadee very funny....
3 tags
we can plant a house, we can build a tree
what is a boddah? boddah is to whom kurt cobain addressed his suicide note. now, i don’t plan on going the same way of the lead singer of nirvana [or is it former lead singer? should i use the word “former” here? because he’s topped himself and all? or is that just bad taste?], meaning i don’t think i will be killed by courtney love. jokes jokes. seriously though,...